untitled update

07 Mar

This is once again being “penned” on Microsoft Word.  LOL I’ve had some medical issues come up, so that among other things has forced us to push back getting some new internet for a week or two, hopefully, at the most.  I will freely admit to splurging Friday night and going to Alice in Wonderland on the Ultra Screen 😀 Me and D agree that it gets about an 8 out of 10.

So the other night we were in the mall…for something, don’t remember what, … I think we were grabbing supper ‘cuz we had no groceries… (simply due to being unable and unwilling to go to the grocery store lol) and we get a phone call from an unknown phone number.  They asked to speak with D so I figured it was his job (Which no.  They haven’t scheduled his first day yet >.< I’m getting pissed about that.  He’s been hired for almost a month.  About the only thing keeping us civil about it is that the specific store he’s going to be working at is a brand new contract for his company, so there’s probably stuff to work out and all that.

Anyway, so it turns out that D has won something!!! It was one of those things where we had to go sit through a time share seminar, but that was fine.  We got to do something and the prizes were not contingent upon signing anything, just giving up a couple hours of our life J We won 7 days in a hotel (that we can break up into weekends if we want) $100 gift card each time we check in to the hotel (So yea, we get that more than once!!) we got free lunch the day of the seminar, a gas gift card and a buy 1 get 1 free plane ticket.  We gave the plane ticket to D’s mom as well as the gas card, ‘cuz she loaned us her car to go to the seminar.

We are going to register the hotel thingy today to see what all we need to do to get the vouchers.  It actually works at this hotel right across the street from our apartment LOL We aren’t looking to get out of town right now or anything.  Just take a break.  Sometimes it’s nice to have the illusion even LOL And sometimes it’s nice to win 😉

So Friday night I got 2 packages of new toys 😀 It was quite nice ‘cuz yesterday afternoon, after 2 days of no sex, D was kind enough to use all of the new toys on me.  *Purrs and melts* and then he fucked the holy hell out of me.  *purrs and melts again* I tried to get more sex last night, but he wasn’t feeling the hottest.  So I shall molesterate (my own word, thankyouverymuch) him later today 😀

I’m in this strange…mental state lately.  It was sort of spurned on by my medical issue.  So here it is, ‘cuz I know I’ll blog about it again.  (You already know if you follow me on twitter) During my last pap smear they found cancerous cells in my vaginal canal.  A couple years ago I had to have a colposcopy because they’d found a high grade precancerous growth on my cervix.  Well, for the past 2 weeks I’d been having abnormal bleeding and discharge.  I’ve since had my period and that seems to have cleared out a lot of the bleeding and discharge, but because I’d had it for so long and with the previous colposcopy and the cancerous cells, tomorrow (Monday the 8th) I go in for a biopsy to see if it’s malignant.

So anyway, it all could be nothing, but on the same token it all could be a great big something.  So I asked D the other night “what if it’s malignant and I have to have a hysterectomy?” He laughed and said “what, do you think I’d dump you or something?” to which I replied “Well of course not, but it’s nice to hear” and he agreed.  So, anyway, it was nice to hear that even if I had cancer and had to have a hysterectomy he wouldn’t leave me.

There was also a moment where he told the guy at the time share seminar that our relationship was forever permanent.  O_O I’m not sure what’s going on with me LOL All the funky shit with my “nether regions” these past couple weeks along with a period much longer than usual has left me emotional and eating the largest amounts of junk food I’ve eaten in years.  I actually got teary during sex yesterday afternoon.

I think it’s sinking in that me and D are not a “this weekend” item, ya know?  Yea yea, I know we moved in together and the 3-words have been said, in our own ways (ie – not a romantic “oohhhhh baby I luuuurrrrrrrvvvv you” type situation), I’m still absorbing it, ya know?  I think I’m still in that “it’s too good to be true” phase even though it’s not.  We’re not perfect, we have disagreements, we both do things that annoy each other.

It’s a little funny as well, ‘cuz we are still … acclimating? to each other, I suppose you could say.  Well, a better way to say it would be that we are still un-learning the “conditioning” from our exes LOL   For me especially it’s been … not difficult but… something lol I have to constantly remind myself that D is a different person from the ex (incredibly different! *cheers*) and that asking him to make a business phone call that I cannot make for him will not cause a fight.

Got a couple really good coupons at a local plus size store, so it was nice to be able to get 2 brand new shirts (lol same shirt actually, just different colors) for a total of $10.  J *sighs* I cannot wait for D to start working though… he’s started putting more applications out, but our job market up here is pretty nonexistent.  Even fast food restaurants aren’t hiring.  I’m able to support us, but barely.  And I can see the toll it’s taking on him, mentally and emotionally.  (LMAO so…as a little side note…D’s male cat just took off running…and unintentionally ran head first into the heat register….)

For starters he’s reliant on me for everything, pretty much.  The roof over our heads, the food on our plates, cat food and litter.  And it’s against our wills that it’s this way.  It’s not that we choose for him to be a stay at home dad or anything.  He’s actually quite a workaholic and is heavily fighting a depression right now, and I don’t think he’s winning.  He’s not sleeping, he’s putting on weight.  I ensure that we shower together or some nights he wouldn’t do that.  Not that he does much during the day, LOL he’s not sweaty or anything, it’s just nice to keep up the routines and such.

He’s been doing what he can do contribute financially, he’s sold pretty much everything of value that he’s had to help out.  Which is just another thing that’s pushing him down, ya know?  I feel so bad for him L and there’s nothing that I can do.  Once he’s working we will be doing very good, actually.  It’s so frustrating ‘cuz he was supposed to start this weekend working…we have no idea why he hasn’t.  When we’re at the mall for wi-fi I’m gonna see if I can talk him into sending an e-mail off to his boss asking what’s up, ‘cuz he hasn’t gotten paid for the hour and a half of setup time they owe him as well.  (And yes, this is a real company and all that, actually his ex wife worked for them as well, just at a different store, so a different contract.) He’s still looking for  a second job though, ‘cuz this one is part time, though a very nice hourly wage.

Well, that’s about it… gonna get cleaned up and dressed and head to the mall for some wi-fi…and gonna post the very belated HNT’s!!! :D:D

1 Comment

Posted by on March 7, 2010 in daily life


Tags: , , ,

One response to “untitled update

  1. Shii

    March 8, 2010 at 7:31 PM

    I really hope that things start turning around for you soon, and I am sending you good vibes hoping that your tests come back negative. Whatever happens, you can make it!


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