Sorry I haven’t posted much lately. A lot has been going on, not gonna really post about much of it. I’ve been going through a lot of emotions lately, some positive, some negative. I’m sort of in a spot right now where I’m feeling very negative about a couple of things and so it’s transferring itself onto a the rest of my life. Which isn’t good. I’m not happy with anything really.
I’ve been making sure to communicate that to D and thankfully he understands. It’s funny ‘cuz the things that are going on, well there’s 2 really. 1 of them I’m not speaking about, but while it’s bad, it’s not horrible or life ending or anything like that. It’s very similar to something else I’ve gone through and can deal. The other thing though, I’ve quit my job (due to necessary extenuating circumstances.) So, while I have my writing job I can no longer support us right now. Needless to say I’ve been working my ass of at my writing job and gotten a promotion, so I can afford rent, but because of needing to quit my other job, I’ve had to request an advance so now we’re a month behind. Thankfully our landlord is aware of our situation and is working with us to the best of her ability. Sometimes you can’t ask for more. So I’ve been applying everywhere I can and so has D.
Positively though some things that have happened over the past week have caused me to realize just how much I love D, the fact that I am in love with him and want to wear a ring (though without marriage). D’s cool with me having a ring; he understands why I want one.
One thing that happened this week caused me and D to have to spend the night apart and spend the longest time away from each other that we ever had. It was difficult. We don’t have a bed, ya know so we sleep on the floor. We’ve since that night actually moved our “beds” closer together so we can touch each other when we need to.
Actually, a 3rd thing that has happened is my cervical cancer symptoms coming back. I made it to the hospital today but they didn’t have the resources to do a pap smear. (I got sent to the ER) But, they did do a culture and gave me a list of clinics in the area. The one I’d found was booked up for months. So, I can call the other ones on Monday and make an appointment and get a regular physician again.
D still doesn’t have a job and it’s really affecting him negatively, understandably. It’s frustrating for me too. We don’t know what the problem is. I’ve re-worked his resume and cover letter. He’s applying for everything, menial or not. The longer he goes without work the worse it looks, ‘cuz it makes him look unemployable. We’ve been looking up websites of business in the area; gas stations, c-stores, grocery stores and putting in applications there. I really, really hope something comes thru soon. I can work more than one job at once, but not for too long. My body can’t handle it, with the fibromyalgia. Well, I can push myself as long as I need to, but I suffer for it.
We’ve checked into temp agencies and all that for D, but nothing is coming through, so if anyone has any ideas or suggestions, that’d be awesome. (Or if you know of anything, we’re in the East Bay are of San Francisco… anyone hiring that wants to hire D? Please? 😦 )