regrets, jobs, excruciating pain and a kitchen table

09 Oct


*squeals* my REAL Kitchen table!!



lol a kitty under the kitchen table =^^=


So when I was coming home last night I noticed this kitchen table near the Dumpster.  Loe and behind it was in decent condition so we nabbed that sucker up right away!  No more camping table for our kitchen table, woot woot! We’ve outfitted almost our entire apartment with stuff scavenged from the Dumpster areas that people have just tossed out.  It works!  It’s something until we have enough money saved up so we can purchase a whole set, ya know.  D is kind of worried about decorating, as he fears that we have very different decorating tastes.  The thing is that while D has specific decorating styles that he likes, I simply like something if I like it.  While I know how I’d ideally love to decorate my house if I lived on my own, it’s different when you live with someone else.

D goes in for his first “trial” night of work tonight.  He’s uber nervous.  It’s mostly a combination of the fact that he hasn’t been working for a long, long time plus with all of the stress and shit that’s been going on there’s a bit of a self destructive side working against him in his mind.  Thankfully last night he noticed it, so he’s aware of it.  Sometimes that’s all you can do and be, ya know?  Yesterday I got a call for him while I was out that he has another job lined up, swinging signs.  It’s not the best, but it’s something.  Thing is; D called them back last night and left a message, but we haven’t heard back from them yet.  Could just be ‘cuz it’s the weekend though, so I’m not gonna get too worried and shit about it ’till prolly Tuesday.

I technically have a part time job now, starting as customer service then going into being the affiliates manager for an advertising firm.  I’m excited to have the extra money, but in no way excited or happy about the company or anything like that.  I’m going to see if maybe I can get a raise or something at the job I have now then leave it at that.  Thing is I told my mom about this job LOL Though I told her that especially with D’s jobs now, if I get a raise at my other one I’m quitting this one.

What I really want to do is be able to get a decent amount of money saved up, like 3 months worth of bills, then actual savings on top of that so we are comfortable.  D wants the same thing for his own money.  That way if he has a hard time finding a permanent job after the seasonal one(s) is up he’s good for a couple months and can pay his share of the bills.  This may sound silly but I want to be able to actually use my change jar as a change jar.  My mom bought me this cool one that when you put the coin in through a slot in the lid it counts the money for you.  I want to be able to use that to save up our change then when it’s full either use it to play with or go out to eat or something, ya know?  I hope I can get something out of my regular job so I don’t have to go to this new one.  *sighs*

Lately I’ve been having problems coping with regrets.  With all the thinking I’ve been doing some of it has turned to the past so naturally I’ve thought of and remembered things that I regret doing.  This line of thought serves me naught, so I’m trying to stop, trying to redirect the thoughts.  I’ve also fallen into a pattern of focusing too much on the future, and then focusing too much on the present.  There needs to be balance and I totally don’t have that right now.

FIRE FIRE FIRE!! huhhh...hhuuuuuhh.h...hhhuuhhhh *mimicing bevis and butthead*

So a couple hours have gone by since the last paragraph.  D is almost done with his first work shift in like, forever.  It’ll be a couple hours before he gets home though.  We live in a suburb and where he’s working is actually in San Francisco.  Goddess I hope the night went well for him.

I’ve been having problems with my back again lately.  It seems about every 3 weeks or so my lower back “goes out” and it’s difficult for me to move in any way.  It’s similar but different.  Probably I slept wrong or something.  It feels like my sciatic nerve is tweaked.  So yea.  That sucks.

Anyway, that’s about it really.  I’m really enjoying just being able to relax.  I read a couple books today and tonight have been watching stuff online.  Gonna catch an episode of Hoarders now.



Posted by on October 9, 2010 in daily life


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “regrets, jobs, excruciating pain and a kitchen table

  1. Lada

    October 10, 2010 at 10:27 AM

    Regrets are hard. I seem to get more and more each day. The thing is, I’m doing the best I can so having regrets is kinda silly. But, they’re still there.

    I hope D’s shift went well too.

    Having a safety net sounds delightful. I hope you can get one.

    Weird ?, but are the lower back probs timed with your menstrual cycle?

    • Jessie Beth

      October 10, 2010 at 2:16 PM

      Yea, D’s shift went awesome! Good question about my back pain but no, it’s not related to my moon time. It’s an old injury that is one that will never fully heal. It’s doing better today, so that’s good. Will probably take a hot bath again tonight to help loosen the muscles more. D used the Wahl on my lower back 2 nights ago and so far that’s helped the most 🙂 Maybe tomorrow I can get another Wahl treatment 😉


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