The constant fight and waiting game.

15 Mar

So, we’re playing the waiting game right now.  D’s family might be helping, but it’s a matter of will they?  If so how much?  And when.  If they don’t help, it’s 100% we won’t make it and will need to go home.  If they do but it’s not enough, it’ll be uber easier for us to get home.  If they don’t help at all we’ll have to fly home, in which case most of our stuff will be stored by a friend down here, my cats will be taken to the human society and we’ll have to figure out how to handle D’s, cuz he’s emotionally unable at the moment to let them go.  Having to run home will “break” him enough, having to loose his cats would be the topper that made the icing run off the cake, if you get my drift.

We have options, and that’s important to both of us.  We have a place to go back home, free of charge, that we could have our cats at, with no problem.  I just hate not knowing; I’m scared things will get to the nitty gritty and we’ll be fucked; no place to go here, ya know?  No one we know has room or is able to take anyone.  D could easily get a plane ticket at the end of the month if need be, with is pay, but we’d have nothing extra to take luggage or the cats.

D is at a point where he’s choosing to believe we’ll make it, which is fine, but that’s making him want to give the landlords everything, rather then set some aside (we owe specific amounts on specific days and todays payment is less than what we have right now; I want to save the extra, just in case, D wants to give it to them).  He is still letting himself believe that they’ll work with us, which they won’t anymore.  Since he’s at work when the landlords are there I’m always the one dealing with them, so I know better how things are with them.  Because they’ve been so willing to work with us up ’till now, he doesn’t see how or why they’d change that, but they have.  So while we’re on the same page with virtually everything this is a decent sized rift.  Though, in the end it’s his money and I told him he has the last say on it.

For me, a lot of it here now has been soured for me.  I can’t tell if it’s just our apartment or the whole area, but a good portion of me really does just want to go home.  I’ve been able to change a lot of my thinking to that this has been a failed experiment; it just sucks too much to see this as what it really is; we chased a dream, but that dream ended up in a sewage tank rather than a pretty rainbow.

Plus, our cats still have fleas; not terribly bad, but bad enough.  *head desk*

1 Comment

Posted by on March 15, 2011 in daily life


One response to “The constant fight and waiting game.

  1. Jessica

    March 15, 2011 at 4:47 PM

    *Hugs forever*


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