Category Archives: about the jessie beth


So many say that fibromyalgia is “all in your head.”  Those that believe it exists.  I challenge any of those who don’t to live a week in my shoes, or the shoes of any other who have to live with this…wonderful, condition.

Fibromyalgia is many things, strangely enough including that yes, it really is all in our heads…at least in that the pain is caused from synapses in our brains firing too much, which makes our nerve endings flare for no reason at all.  Along with chronic pain, every moment of every day, for no reason (i.e.- injury), it also causes a constant case of the “creepy crawlies.”

However, along with chronic pain fibromyalgia is so much more.  It’s really a collection of “symptoms”  which seem to be unrelated yet do not fall under any other category and are typically found together.  (Fibro is kind of the schitzal-type personality disorder of physical medical conditions.)  Fibro is depression, anxiety and chronic fatigue.  It’s stiffness, irritable bowl syndrome and a bad memory.

Not to mention simply having the knowledge that you have a chronic medical condition.  I am 29 years old and have had fibromyalgia my whole life.  I’ve been told that my trigger event for it was likely actually before I was born.

So many people who have physical issues can push themselves, and I can too, to a point.  I however have reached a point where I cannot push myself anymore.  I’m at the end of my rope.

My boyfriend has a couple chronic medical problems, but he can still push himself, so it’s hard for him to understand why I cannot, or do not anymore.  It makes things difficult.  But he’s patient with me, as I am with him.

I’ve been told that at only 29 I shouldn’t or cannot have an “old persons” disease.  Fibro isn’t limited by age.

Fibro is real.  Deal with it.



Posted by on April 5, 2011 in about the jessie beth


Website Review; MoreLockers.Com

So, ever since I’ve been old enough to want a real house of my own and also be able to visualize how I’d want it decorated and all, I’ve wanted lockers. The nice thing about lockers is you can have different sizes and colors, plus they’re pretty secure. Since a lot of them are metal and all.

However so often with the thought of lockers comes the visual of school lockers. Well, I don’t know about any of you but school lockers are not what I’d want in my home. However, More Lockers actually has lockers that aren’t school lockers!  If you go to their website, it’s organized quite nicely; right along the top you can click on several tabs that show what sorts of lockers they have.  And they have everything from the good old fashioned metal school lockers to nice and fancy designer lockers. Yes. Designer lockers!

They have some wonderful wood lockers, cubbies and even ones with designs on them and that are various colors!  It’s nice to know of this website because if I ever get a house of my own now I know where I can get the lockers and/or cubbies that I want!

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Posted by on February 15, 2011 in about the jessie beth



I am so horny!

heh heh heh

So after my masturbation-athon in the tub I had one in the living room.  A lot quicker than the tub  which was a bit disappointing but I’ve realized that I need to re-learn my body.  A lot of my success in the tub had to do with my position and the ambiance.  The living room was different and I found I had a much harder time getting off.  So in lines with that I’ve got 4 more toys on their way to me, a g-spot vibrator and 3 more Tantus dildos.  I LOVE Tantus dildos, they’re my favorite.

Yay sex toys!

I realize that I want more g-spot toys so I can try to actually squirt.  I think I ejaculated a little bit last night, but I didn’t squirt.  I wanna have wet spots! Plus, when I used my Pleasure Pad I loved it (the thing on the chair) but I realized that I want larger/thicker dildos for it, so I ordered (via a gift card 😀 ) the Tantus Deuce 1 and Deuce 2 from Eden Fantasys.  I liked them both and couldn’t decide which I wanted more so happily, I had *just* enough to get them both.  I can’t fucking wait!!

*giggles* The Aftermath

I also need more batteres lol And a better sex toy storage system.  I need more storage plain and simple.  Will start at looking at places like the container store and such, for a larger all encompassing storage system.  I’ll probably end up having a rolling cart with drawers that I’ll be able to organize them much better.


So quite happily D got paid yesterday.  It was just for 2 days, but it was something.  Since my check is a day delayed because of Columbus Day it was nice to be able to get a few items; cat litter, food, laundry detergent and credit on our laundry card.  We used every last dollar on the laundry card.  Have 4 loads going and it’s not enough.  We have SO much laundry to do.  Had we had to wait one more day we’d have been hand washing D’s underwear so he could have clean shorts for work.

I suppose I have to admit that I was very proud this morning when I went to do the transaction for putting money on my reloadable card so we could then put it on the laundry card (the reloadable is in my name) and it was D that paid.  I’m very proud of him ^^  And while he was frustrated that he only had 2 days worth of pay, he was, albeit hiding it, very happy to be the one paying.

I asked him if I could have Subway for lunch and he said yes.  He wanted Taco Bell but I can’t eat it; I spend the next 6 hours running back and forth from the bathroom.  He didn’t feel like going all the way to Taco Bell (It’s about 3 blocks away) just for himself, so he got a sub too.  The grocery store we usually use across the street has some excellent sales and deals this week, so I’m really hoping it lasts until I get paid and we can do a large shopping trip and bring home a lot of food.

After this experience the last few months I have a whole new understanding of living.  And I am ashamed a bit of myself and my lifestyle in years past.  How could I make as much as I was making, having bills as small as I did and forever be behind on bills, and yet I bought very little that wasn’t necessities.  I just don’t get it.  But I’ve learned so much so hopefully now that we’re getting at least up on our knees now, our feet in a couple months, I’ll be able to be much more responsible and mature.


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Nipple Clamps Yay!

So cute and pretty! ^^

I love nipple clamps!  ^^ And these Nipple Charmers are no different! From Good Vibrations these are the adjustible kind.  They come in blue with stars and pink with roses and are about 5″ long.  They are the tweezer style, metal with black rubber caps on the ends that go on the nipples.  I have the blue with stars variety.  Off the back end they have a small dark blue bead, a larger light blue bead then a silver star.  They are really cute and unique!

I have one big complaint tho, and that’s that these nipple clamps are very hard to close.  When you pinch the clamp closed it’s quite hard to do so, which makes it very difficult to slide the o-ring down to get them at the tightness you desire.  If yours are the same way I highly suggest simply playing with them for a while, holding them closed, move the o-ring down and leave them closed like that for some time.  This way they’ll be easier to manipulate when you have them on your nipples.

Since they are tweezer style these aren’t really the kind for use during pain/endurance play.  These are more for decoration when you’re being sexy and sultry.  They would work very well for use in erotic photography.

I give the Nipple Charmers a 4 out of 5! Adorable but a bit difficult to use. Thanks mucho Good Vibrations!


Posted by on October 10, 2010 in about the jessie beth


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Leau A Deux

The Leau A Deux (The candles in the background are mine and NOT in this kit)

The Leau A Deux is a nicely packaged erotic bath kit from Eden Fantasys . By Bijou Indiscreets  It includes several items:

  • The Tin – This sensual bath kit comes in an awesome tin.  It’s about 5″ tall and probably 7″ wide/deep.  It’s attractively black with very dark grey polka dots on it.  The front has a label that could be peeled off if need be.  There’s a large label on the bottom that also could be peeled off, though I think you’d need some Goo B Gone for it.  This is totally re-usable.  It has a foam insert in the bottom for the containers of massage oil and bubble bath.
  • Bubble Bath – A 1oz jar of very, very scented bubble bath.  The scent is intense.  I can only describe it as perfume.  It’s very feminine and makes me think of being sensual and erotic.  There is an aphrodisiac included in the scent, so I can for the first time ever say this aphrodisiac works on me.   It’s in a jar, with a twist off top.  Again it’s reusable which is awesome.  I found it to be a very small amount though.  I used half of it and it lasted a very long time.  After a 1 hour bath the bubbles were just as bubbly as they were at the beginning of the bath.  The scent permeated into my entire apartment and it was too much for D.  He needed to open the windows and that even didn’t help.  When I came out of the bath my entire body smelled of the bubble bath, and he actually had his face in his shirt for a while, stating he’d rather smell his sweat.  SO – if you are sensitive to smell, *stay away from this one*.  It is a very intense sent.  I however enjoyed it.  It’s incredibly strong in the jar and tin, however once it’s in the bath it cools off a bit and is more subtle.
  • Massage Gel – A 1 oz jar of massage gel.  Due to D’s sensitivity to the bubble bath we didn’t try this.  It comes with a plastic cap over the gel that the bubble bath didn’t come with.  And truth be told, it fits so snugly I haven’t even been able to take the plastic piece of to even smell the massage gel.
  • 4 Round Candles – There are 4 round, white candles that come in a quite white, organza bad with a black tie string.  They are quite small, perhaps 1″x1″.  They are flat on the bottom so you can put them on a flat surface to burn.  They lasted me about 1 hour, the length of my bath.  They are not scented.’
  • Massager – Now this piece is curious to me.  It’s a long, perhaps 2 feet long organza sleeve that’s folded up and tied with a black tie.   It’s open at both ends.  It’s supposed to be a massager, used to massage the massage gel into the skin.  Personally I have no desire to have massage gel massaged into me with a piece of organza.  It doesn’t feel that great on the skin.  Now, if you like a bit rougher texture perhaps it’s for you.   As for me I’m going to find another use for this.  Not sure what it is yet though LOL
  • CD – I LOVE this music!!! It’s sort of easy listening jazz music.  Both me and D love it.  I think it’s the best part of this kit.  I didn’t find the music to be romantic, or erotic, or sensual however with the beats of most of the songs I can see how it could be erotic for others.  For me and D it’s awesome background music as we go about our day cooking and cleaning and such.
  • Invitation – There is a cardboard romantic invitation that you could use.  Fill it out and leave it where your lover could find it.

All in all, I’m going to give the Leau A Deux a 2.5 out of 5. I find the price to be way too much for what you get, especially the small amounts of the massage gel and bubble bath.   I honestly can’t imagine recommending it to anybody, especially a the price.  Perhaps at $30 I could, but not at the price it’s listed for. Now don’t get me wrong; you certainly could create an erotic, sensual evening with this kit!!  However, you get 1, maybe 2 uses out of this stuff, the scent is overpowering at the beginning and I just can’t imagine using that massager.  I just find the price to be too much.  Thanks Eden Fantasys for letting me try this unique bath product!!

4 candles at the beginning of the burn

4 candles after about 1 hour and 5 minutes of burn

product picture
Sensual kit by Bijoux Indiscrets
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

Posted by on October 10, 2010 in about the jessie beth


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Self Realization

Must. Tattoo. This. On. My. Body. SOON.

So, I’m waiting for an appointment I have in about an hour so I was getting some work done.  D had left for work so I cranked up Youtube and started listening to my favorite bands.  Had some Manowar going for a while and then now I have Rammstein going.  And I realized something; deep down I’m a hard rock/heavy metal chick that likes to dress thusly, and a tad bit punk.  And throughout all of this spiritual awakening I’ve been going through I have totally forgotten this.

All of my life I have struggled with my sense of self.  I’ve really struggled a lot with this because as much as I am a metal girl, I like denim and chains and spikes and black and leather sometimes I LOVE wearing heels and a dress and a skirt and my kitty ears (wearing my Hello Kitty ones right now! =^^=).  So many of the people I grew up with were themselves which was one thing, ya know?  They had one style of dress and all of their interests lined up with one another.

This is very dichotomous to me because my interests are all over the place!  I can jam out to Rammstein and enjoy it just as much as sometimes I can jam out to Christina Aguilera or Mariah Carey!

So anyway, I was writing an article about anal sex.  A sort of anal sex do’s and don’ts if you will.  And something I wrote on there sort of triggered all of this within me.  I honestly couldn’t tell you what it was that I wrote, but whatever it was really hit something for me and realized that even while I am so much more myself now than ever, I am still forcing certain aspects of myself to fit into pre-determined containers based on others, not myself.

Sure I like to be a kitty sometimes.  But that doesn’t mean I have to be the same as how other people are!  I’m my own damn kitty dammit!  And just ‘cuz I like to sometimes wear dresses and be girly sometimes doesn’t mean it always has to be pink and flowery.  I much prefer my pink to be hot pink bordered by black anyways.

So the moral of this post I think is that I’ve just had a really, really hard time figuring out how to incorporate all the aspects of my personality together but I think that in the end I had simply forgotten that all these different aspects are me.  I’m just me.  I’ve seen myself as having so many different personalities when in the end it’s all just one personality; mine.  For example when I go clothes shopping I always drift to the more punkish/gothic/metal type stuff, but have always felt that I shouldn’t ‘cuz I’m a girl and I do have girly parts to me.  So I’ll buy something pretty and feminine and wear it maybe once or twice and be totally uncomfortable in it.  I need to find these aspects of myself that ARE myself.  That aren’t me trying to be what “should” be I need to be what I “am.”

Well, it’s almost time for me to head to my appointment so I think I’m gonna watch some Youtube then get dressed to go.


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An Actually Kissable Body Topping!

Booty Parlor Pomegranate Skin Honey

Booty Parlor’s Skin Honey . Long have I been searching for an edible body topping.  And while this is yummy, I don’t really think “body topping” is quite the right word.  Though, that’s more semantics than anything.  Now, first off, this is my second Booty Parlor product I’ve tried.  And I am HOOKED on their products.  I find that I am now as hooked on Booty Parlor as I am on SportsSheets.  I love that their boxes are nice and thick; you don’t get them and they’re all beat up and out of shape.  Plus, their style is tasteful and pretty.  It’s obviously sensual without naked people on them.  My flavor is pomegranate, it also comes in chocolate and vanilla.

Anyway, Skin Honey is a kissable “body topping, massage gel and personal lubricant.”  So, let’s look at these things separately:

  • Body Topping – Now, when I hear “body topping” I think of something thick and/or whipped.  This totally isn’t.
  • Massage Gel – It’s not a gel, it’s water based and quite runny actually.
  • Personal Lubricant – Now.  This one I think is questionable.  There’s no sugar in this per se, however glyerin is it’s 2nd ingredient which is used as a sweetener.  Also, it has honey extract in it, which is sweet.  However, it’s it’s 3rd ingredient is sorbitol.  Sorbitol is a sugar alcohol.  While it doesn’t have exactly sugar in it, I don’t feel comfortable putting that many sweeteners in my vagina; I am prone to yeast infections.  Plus, D is allergic to glycerin so won’t be using that way.  I am interested to hear how someone else found this to be as a lubricant if they chose to!  In my opinion though; it’s way too thin to be used anally. If you’re wanting a flavored lube, I’d find a more traditional one.

Here’s the ingredients: Water, Glycerin, Sorbitol, Propelyn Glycol, Honey Extract, Lycium Barbarum Fruit Extract, Panax Ginseng Root, sodium Saccarin, Triethanolamine, Diethanolamine, Carbomer, Potassium Sorbate, Phenoxyethanol, Flavor (aroma), May contain: Red 40, Yellow 5, Yellow 6, Blue 1.

Now.  After all that why do I love the Skin Honey so much??  ‘Cuz it works awesome as a massage oil!! It really does taste good so long as you’re not drinking it or anything.  Take “kissable” literally.  It’s kissable.  If you even lick your lips you get a tad of a bitter back taste, but it is still good!  You can simply tell there’s not actually any “sugar” in it.  It also leaves your skin nice and smooth and soft afterwards.  Due to the glycerin I’m sure.  It rubs in nicely, it smells good, it tastes good and it’s in no way sticky!  As a massage oil it’s awesome!

The tube it comes in is black and has the cap on the bottom so as you run out there’s no shaking it down or anything.  It’s 50ML or 1.7 fluid ounces.  It’s not organic or anything like that.

Honestly?  I give it a 4 out of 5.  It’s good as a kissable massage oil.  That’s about it.  Thanks Fascinations!!


Posted by on October 3, 2010 in about the jessie beth


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