Category Archives: daily life

With the waxing fertility of the Earth…

comes some waxing fertility in my life…. and NO, I am not pregnant!  LOL  Things are just looking up, that’s all. I just left a message with my disability worker for an update on my case; I will have to see a doctor (that they pay for) and I want to make sure I know when it is so I can make it to the appointment.  I need to get on disability so I can care for myself.

Happily though I do have a job, working from home.  It’s part time and just less than half what I was making before, but that’s okay with me.  Plus I’m getting paid via paypal, so I won’t have to worry about cashing a check!  It’s money!  Plus, we have been able to get turned around and tomorrow we will be paying rent on time for the first time in a long, long time!

My mom is visiting us in just over 1 week, and she will be staying for a full week, Tuesday to Tuesday. I’m mostly excited!  Also a little nervous; we still have a flea here and there (going to be doing a mega vacuum today or tomorrow to hopefully get the last few of them) and I don’t need her seeing one.  Also, I haven’t spent time like that with my mom for over 10 years LOL

So a couple days ago my mom and I were talking and she told me she had a surprise for me, so of course she told me.  She said that we (me and D) could choose 1 gift out of a list; it didn’t matter what we chose, but she would buy whichever we wanted.  Our choices were; a grill, a mattress, 2 bikes (1 for each of us) or a flat panel TV.  So I was all “holy shit!” and started thinking about it.  I told D and he didn’t want anything to do with it, as he’s very anti gift giving and receiving (bad experiences when he was young) so he said he didn’t care and that I could pick whatever.

So, I was talking with mom and I’ve decided that D will be getting a new bike.  So that’s his part of it.  And basically, so long as whatever I decide is about $350 or less, it can be whatever.  So, mine will be some gardening stuff for my balcony so I can start growing some veggies and then a few things for around the house, prolly some kitchen stuff, new silverware, maybe a bookshelf or something.  Oh! And file folders LOL  We got 2 large-ish file cabinets from D’s work when they move buildings, for free, but they’re wide so they need legal-sized file folders rather than standard sized, so my file folders don’t fit.

I told my mom yesterday what I was thinking for me and I could tell she was happy that I was going the route of necessities, as opposed to junk (not that a PS3 hadn’t flashed through my mind LOL) and just said to start making my list! I think she’s also excited to help me start an apartment garden.  My mom loves gardening so any chance to work in dirt like that she’s happy about.

It feels so good to have a lot of this stress off our shoulders.  We have gotten things straightened out, at least rent wise.  I need to get my food stamps straightened out but hopefully I did that yesterday. Won’t know ’till probably tomorrow though, as my worker is out of the office today, naturally.

D is having some trouble adjusting to the lack of stress.  For so long we’d been going full bore to get rent paid and now that that’s over he’s having trouble focusing and doesn’t really know what to do with his focus, ya know?  A lot of that, though, is D’s condition (he has schitzal-type personality disorder).

As for me, I’m just trying to get caught up on my reviewing, trying to get my website fucking working again (should have that taken care of within the next 6 weeks, wish it was sooner though) and getting used to working again as well as hopefully getting approved for disability.

Anyway, that’s all for now.  I do have more to say, but I need to write an article for work, so I need to budget my typing LOL


Posted by on March 31, 2011 in daily life



Hi all!  Thought I’d give a bit of an update; I actually have a few things to say! LOL

First off, D’s employer has said they’ll give us an advance on his pay, at the end of the money.  So that’s uber good; we will be able to get over this hump!  I’ve figured out that in the end, I really didn’t want to go home, I just wanted to know 100% which way we were going; are we going or staying?  And as soon as I’d be okay with whatever was going on things would change and we’d be going the other direction.  There is such a profound sense of relief!

I went to full moon ritual last Saturday night and it was amazing.  I can’t really say how amazing, there aren’t words to describe it.  It really helped me to remember just why I moved, why I love it here, and so forth.  So that’s awesome!

Lastly the cats still have fleas, like we could just get rid of them with everything we’ve done! LOL  Tomorrow I’m going to be doing a ritual, calling on both Sehkmet and Bastet, and possibly Thor to help with this battle, and (as I type this one of the cats is climbing on me) then I’m going to be really going to war, holistically; I have several things I’ll be doing to kill the fleas, repel the fleas and so forth and then after a few more days I’m going to bathe the cats again in flea shampoo.

My mom is visiting in 3 weeks (as of today! EEK!) and I must have this taken care of before then.  Plus, I’ve learned a lot about fleas and so I’ll be able to keep things at a good status quo; since 1 – there’s no freezing here and 2 – there’s a ton of cats in the complex we live in, I’m not surprised we have them and I’ll be able to keep us protected from them in the future.

Also, one of my Sisters from the Full Moon circle is an animal communicator and is coming over in the morning!  She may have some Advantage left that she’d bring to help medicate my kitties and she’s going to be talking to my cats (those who will talk to her) and see what they have to say.

We still have some stressors; making sure we actually get the pay advance; making sure we don’t have problems with my rent assistance, figuring out how we’re going to eat for the next few weeks, figuring out how we’re going to get cat food and litter for the next few weeks, me waiting to hear about a couple job prospects as well as disability (I’d prefer disability).  But, at least we have a home!


Update:  So, I actually couldn’t post this yesterday ‘cuz wordpress wasn’t working.  So I’m posting it now.  Happily yesterday D did get the pay advance check from his employers.  Just now it’s getting it deposited and hoping it clears in time!  (I’m sure it will, usually checks are available in 2 days.

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Posted by on March 23, 2011 in daily life


The constant fight and waiting game.

So, we’re playing the waiting game right now.  D’s family might be helping, but it’s a matter of will they?  If so how much?  And when.  If they don’t help, it’s 100% we won’t make it and will need to go home.  If they do but it’s not enough, it’ll be uber easier for us to get home.  If they don’t help at all we’ll have to fly home, in which case most of our stuff will be stored by a friend down here, my cats will be taken to the human society and we’ll have to figure out how to handle D’s, cuz he’s emotionally unable at the moment to let them go.  Having to run home will “break” him enough, having to loose his cats would be the topper that made the icing run off the cake, if you get my drift.

We have options, and that’s important to both of us.  We have a place to go back home, free of charge, that we could have our cats at, with no problem.  I just hate not knowing; I’m scared things will get to the nitty gritty and we’ll be fucked; no place to go here, ya know?  No one we know has room or is able to take anyone.  D could easily get a plane ticket at the end of the month if need be, with is pay, but we’d have nothing extra to take luggage or the cats.

D is at a point where he’s choosing to believe we’ll make it, which is fine, but that’s making him want to give the landlords everything, rather then set some aside (we owe specific amounts on specific days and todays payment is less than what we have right now; I want to save the extra, just in case, D wants to give it to them).  He is still letting himself believe that they’ll work with us, which they won’t anymore.  Since he’s at work when the landlords are there I’m always the one dealing with them, so I know better how things are with them.  Because they’ve been so willing to work with us up ’till now, he doesn’t see how or why they’d change that, but they have.  So while we’re on the same page with virtually everything this is a decent sized rift.  Though, in the end it’s his money and I told him he has the last say on it.

For me, a lot of it here now has been soured for me.  I can’t tell if it’s just our apartment or the whole area, but a good portion of me really does just want to go home.  I’ve been able to change a lot of my thinking to that this has been a failed experiment; it just sucks too much to see this as what it really is; we chased a dream, but that dream ended up in a sewage tank rather than a pretty rainbow.

Plus, our cats still have fleas; not terribly bad, but bad enough.  *head desk*

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Posted by on March 15, 2011 in daily life


A word or two from the Jessie Beth

So yea.  It’s bee a long time.  Longer than usual. This have really been the worst they’ve ever been.  Honestly, there’s a good chance we’ll be evicted.  We ended up having to do a promise to pay with our landlords, but they’re forcing us to not only get re-caught up, but turned around in 1 month.  For me… I have placed I can go.  Not here, but back home.  My mom has promised to fly me home if need be and offered me my old bedroom, though I’d have to get rid of my cats.  A friend back home offered me his spare bedroom (for free, until I get a job) and my cats can come there.  It’d just be getting them home.  D does not have any place to go.

So, I’ve got a job, pretty much lined up.  Thing is, I’d probably only have 1 or 2 paychecks from it, and it’s something that would not only be epic hard to get to, but horrid on my body.  I have another interview Friday for a part time job at a new grocery store; that wouldn’t start ’till mid-April.  However, I have heard back from that work from home position; we’re talking on the phone tomorrow to talk details.  I pray I get that one, it pays quickly and well.  Even with all this though, and my taxes coming (hopefully — I had to mail them in this time, which I don’t ever find secure) we still may loose the apartment.  Especially if my taxes are late or something; I couldn’t e-file this year.  Which is so scary for me.  I have places I can go.  D doesn’t.  It’d kill me if I had to leave him here.  I think his family would come through for him, though he doesn’t.

At the same time, I realize that everything happens for a reason.  I’ve learned a lot about myself and have new goals to better my life…I just need to ensure we have a place to live first.  There is still that part of me that wants to move home.  Things are simpler there, I have epic support there and all that.  However, I’m 29 fucking years old.  I need to be able to do this myself; I need to be able to support myself.

We’ve got food stamps; which is keeping us fed.  I also was approved some general assistance, which gets paid directly to my rent.  However, it got sent to the *wrong fucking address.*  They sent it here to our compound, however instead of sending it to an address, they sent it to a random apartment.  So my landlords didn’t get it.  Thankfully we got D’s tax return in time to cover part of that.  But without that, there’s no way we can pay our rent.

So yea, that’s where we’re at right now.  I’ve been spending a lot of time just by myself, trying not to worry or think.  I haven’t been very talkative or anything like that.  So, no offense to anyone; it’s not been personal.


Posted by on March 2, 2011 in daily life


i can’t decide!

I am a Green Witch

So I’m still tossing around the idea of going back to school.  Thing is, my interests lie in forensics.  However, is that something that I really wanna do full time, ya know?  I cherish working from home.  I love what I do now and what I’m planning for my crafts and such to be sold.  (Which, unfortunately is moving slower than I wanted, however I think that’s as it should be.)  Do I really want my ever work day to be filled with dead bodies and such?

I do love forensics.  I love forensic anthropology and anthropological linguistics and handwriting analysis.  I love studying serial killer cases.  I love studying what the FBI’s Behavior Analysis Unit does.  However, do I want that to be my every day?  I don’t think so.  *sighs* I love my alternative lifestyle.  I think that part of me that still tries to fit in and be what “I’m supposed to be” is trying to sabotage, ya know?

On another note I’ve decided that I’m going to be doing is starting my own Meetup group here in East Bay.  I’ve been looking for one in East Bay (or even San Francisco) but haven’t been able to find one that I really click with.  So, hopefully end of December paycheck or January paycheck I’ll be doing that 😀  My group will be a little more specific than the other ones available.  Most of the Pagan Meetups out here (and anywhere really) are mainly just gather and socialize.  Some have rituals.  Mine will be neither, and both.

Mine will be more geared towards Witches, and will not involve ritual.  It’ll involve getting together and talking about the mechanics of Witchcraft, tips and tricks for making spell bottles/jars, talismans, herb harvesting, etc.  I’ve emailed my friend B (sorta my sister witch out here) to see if she wants to be a part of it.

I’ve also decided that 100% I want my garden plot! So, I’m trying to find out at what date the money is due, and how much the deposit is.  It’s fully refundable deposit, so long as you clean your plot when you leave the community garden.  Totally reasonable in my opinion.  I’m really excited about it, not only for the fresh veggies and such, not only being able to harvest my own herbs (I need a bolline for that! eek! :D) but also ‘cuz I’m going to make a fearie garden in it!  Which will include faerie furniture.  Which I realized that I can make more of and sell! 😀  So, once I get my website and store set up (I’ve got my hosting package.  Just need to get my domain transfered and start actually making my website LOL) that’ll be on my list of things available ^^

See, in the end this is the life that really calls to me.  Working from home so I can do these variety of things.  I have a full and strong belief in sustainable priestessing.  This means that for a lot of my priestessly services I have no compunctions about charging something.  However 1 – not a lot.  2 – i’d never turn someone away for lack of funds. and 3 – I whole-heartedly believe in an exchange system.  (EG – I give you a tarot reading; you give me a rune reading, or cook me a meal, or give me a sage wand.) Things like that.

In my heart of hearts I just want to be me; a Green Witch.

A blossoming Green Witch am I,
With plant wisdom and magic to share.
A child of the flowers am I,
With blossoms budding from my hair.
A friend of the Fairies am I,
A crown of leaves and flowers I wear.
A daughter of the Earth am I,
Walking Her ways with feet ever bare.
A sister of the waters am I,
Flowing wild and free without a care.
At one with the blowing winds am I,
Singing softly through the midnight air.
A keeper of the fire am I,
Let me kindle your passions if you dare.
Connected in Spirit with You am I,
Fused together as one in prayer.
Copyright © 1992 Oceanna de la Mare

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Posted by on November 7, 2010 in daily life


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my broken penis

‘Cuz the awesomsauce over at Babeland asked, here’s a pic of my broken penis

*pouts* My broken penis. It still tastes good though! Cherry Chip 🙂


Posted by on November 2, 2010 in daily life



My penis broke!

*giggle snort*

Yea, how often will I be able to say that??  hehehehehe  and no, it’s not D’s phallus either.  It’s the penis cake I made last night!  The balls broke off.  LOL

So, I had a whole lot to say, but yea.  It’s gone.  *sticks tongue out* Figures.  Anyway.  If nothing else, I get to pimp that rockin’ demotivational pic!!

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Posted by on November 2, 2010 in daily life